Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
