Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
