i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize