SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
