"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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