I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
