god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
