Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
