first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
