im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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