And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
