If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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