Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
