i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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