We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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