I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
