Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize