do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize