his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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