Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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