The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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