I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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