They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
