We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
