'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
