So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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