i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
