i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
