I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
