My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
