Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
