WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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