You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Screwed.edu
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
