Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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