I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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