you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
