I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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