i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
