Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
