HIV tests are more positive than that guy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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