I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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