Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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