I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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