Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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