I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize