I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
me + whiskey = a bad person
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
