she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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