this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
