I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
