so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So squirting runs in the family.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
