I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
