so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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