Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
