How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
