She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
