Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
