How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
