Plan B is the new Plan A
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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