Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
