i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize