So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
