they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
