Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
