I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am one with the molecules
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
