Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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