Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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