sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dear god my vagina.
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