Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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