i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
