Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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