we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
