I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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